How to ask for feedback?

The feedback loop is one of the best mechanisms for quickly improving a system or process by incorporating changes suggested by the environment, people, or market. Good feedback can prevent us from going in the wrong direction, highlighting necessary improvements without guesswork. It can even accelerate the speed of innovation dramatically.

Every team should have a mechanism for providing feedback to its members. The absence of an existing feedback system in any team or company should raise a red flag. When delivered properly, feedback can help team members improve rapidly, enhancing efficiency and productivity while maintaining high morale.

As an individual, you can complement the company’s feedback system by taking charge of your career growth. Be proactive in approaching your seniors for feedback about your work. In this chapter, we’ll explore how to approach colleagues and managers to gather feedback effectively.

Why it is important to ask for feedback

Even if your team has a well-defined feedback delivery framework, it’s to your advantage to proactively seek feedback from peers, especially managers. There are genuine cases where asking for feedback early makes more sense than waiting for team-defined timings. For example:

1. Your team’s quarterly feedback cycle might be too infrequent for your needs, or you might prefer more immediate feedback.
2. You can address issues or concerns proactively by seeking early feedback and staying ahead of potential problems.
3. Regular feedback helps avoid unexpected surprises at the end of a feedback cycle, ensuring your self-assessment aligns with others’ perceptions.
4. People often hesitate to give negative feedback to avoid confrontation. When you initiate the conversation, they’re more likely to feel comfortable discussing areas for improvement.
5. Early feedback gives you more time to address any concerns raised.
6. Seeking feedback demonstrates your commitment to growth, significantly increasing your chances of promotion and easing advancement negotiations.
7. By engaging in these challenging conversations regularly, people improve their ability to handle difficult situations and gain a significant advantage over others.

Asking for feedback outside your company’s predefined framework can be challenging. You might fear what you’ll discover or find approaching senior leaders intimidating. Perhaps you’re unsure how to request feedback or lack confidence in your approach. Don’t worry—the following section will guide you through the right process and help you overcome these fears.

Decide what are you trying to discover

The first step is to determine what you want to learn from the feedback. You might be:

• Working on a project and seeking your team leader’s thoughts on progress
• Being new to an organisation and checking if you’re meeting expectations
• Improving your attitude and behaviour and wanting to gauge colleagues’ perceptions
• Sensing team dissatisfaction with your performance before a scheduled review
• Approaching promotion time and aiming to address any concerns proactively
• Working on past feedback received and wanting to check with your manager about their perception of your progress

Clarifying your goal helps focus your feedback request and ensures you gain valuable insights.

Create a template and plan questions in advance

Once you’ve decided what you want to discover through feedback, prepare a set of questions or templates to guide people in providing feedback in your desired format. Create a structure that makes it easier for people to formulate their feedback based on your guidelines.

Imagine you approached your team leader and simply asked for feedback on your performance over the last three months. This request is too vague—your team leader wouldn’t have a clear idea of what you want to learn and might provide feedback that isn’t particularly helpful. Instead, ask specific, probing questions. List these questions and send them to your team leader. This approach will help people give structured feedback, allowing you to uncover the insights you’re seeking.

Who, When and How

After deciding on the “What” of feedback, the next step is to determine the “Who and When”—whom to ask for feedback and when. Approach the right person, someone with direct visibility of your work or who’s in charge of your performance reviews or promotion. Avoid selecting friends or workplace fans for feedback, as they may not provide objective insights.

After deciding “Who,” the next step is to determine “When”—the optimal time to collect feedback. Sometimes it’s best to ask for feedback immediately after delivering an assignment, while other times it’s wise to wait, especially if your last meeting with your leader didn’t go well. Avoid seeking feedback when your team leader is under pressure to meet deadlines; don’t add another task to their plate in such situations. If your team leader is frustrated or angry about deliverables, it’s not the ideal time for feedback, wait until emotions have settled to ensure the feedback isn’t driven by passion or temporary frustrations.

Face-to-face meetings are the best way to collect feedback. They help build trust and personal connections. When in-person meetings aren’t possible, emails or surveys are the next best alternatives, though they’re less effective for fostering human-to-human connections.

Ask probing questions

If you’ve invested sufficient time in finalizing your template or deciding on the questions you want to ask, the feedback collection process should go smoothly. Avoid asking frivolous questions that don’t uncover hidden facts or contribute to your career growth. Keep in mind that reviewers naturally tend to withhold certain information to avoid uncomfortable situations. Your task is to create a relaxed environment where they can provide feedback without worrying about negative consequences. Ensure your questions are high-quality and structured to reveal actionable insights. You want to avoid ending up with feedback so vague that you can’t determine whether it’s positive or negative. Remember, the quality of your question determines the quality of the outcome.

Resist the urge to defend or explain

When receiving feedback that doesn’t meet your expectations, resist the temptation to respond defensively. Don’t give in to the urge to explain your point of view. Remember, your goal was to collect feedback, not to justify yourself. If you start explaining, you’ll likely make the reviewer uncomfortable. They may sense the conversation becoming uneasy and want to avoid confrontation. As a result, they might withhold crucial information to preserve their relationship with you. Moreover, they may become less open to future evaluation processes. Stay focused on listening and understanding their perspective.

Say Thanks and do follow up

Always thank the reviewer for their time and evaluation. Present a plan outlining how you’ll work on the feedback and improve. You might not be ready to present an improvement plan immediately after the feedback meeting, and that’s okay. Take time to evaluate the feedback and the facts discovered. After some reflection and introspection, you can determine the next steps needed to improve yourself. Once your improvement plan is ready, present it to your manager.

Follow up with them regularly, updating them on your progress. This demonstrates your commitment and desire to grow. It also shows the reviewer that their feedback is making a real impact, giving them a sense of accomplishment.

Asking for feedback in remote setup

When teams are working remotely, it puts people in a difficult situation as they do not have the luxury of meeting people informally, as they cannot just walk over to their colleagues’ desk. This leaves two options on the table, i.e., requesting feedback over email or over a video call. It can feel more formal and more daunting.

When asking for feedback virtually, many of the same rules apply as if you were asking in person, but pay special attention to the following tips.

• When requesting feedback over email, please check tone of voice, set of questions, their order, and composition. Keep your request brief. People find it hard to write long replies on emails. Therefore, a limited set of important questions should go in email. Keep emails brief and to the point.
• Busy colleagues won’t read long sentences. They often don’t read questions properly either. Format your questions for clarity by making them big and bold. Be specific about how you’d like to receive feedback and when.
• Lack of face-to-face presence when discussing sensitive topics on video calls can leave room for misunderstandings. Therefore, pay special attention while in remote video calls also and prioritise the area of focus. In remote meetings, try to focus on fewer things rather than having an extensive set of questions.

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