How to respond to negative feedback?

In your professional life, you’ll encounter situations where colleagues, peers, and managers provide negative feedback. This feedback may be delivered professionally in a one-on-one meeting, or it might be subtler if no formal feedback process exists in your team. Sometimes, it’s conveyed in a way that sparks strong emotions like anger or resentment. It’s crucial to learn how to respond to feedback that’s difficult to accept or that offends you due to its delivery. While you can’t control how others give feedback, you can certainly control your response to it. In this chapter, we’ll discuss how to handle negative feedback effectively.

Avoid the temptation to react impulsively

Negative feedback inevitably stirs strong emotions. The key is to keep these feelings in check while receiving feedback, regardless of your opinion about it. A common mistake is trying to explain your side of the story or reacting impulsively during or after the feedback session. This behavior causes you to miss crucial information from your managers and hinders your ability to correct mistakes. When you start explaining yourself or justifying your actions, the focus of the meeting shifts. Instead of collecting valuable feedback from your managers, it devolves into arguments and counterarguments—a futile attempt to determine who’s right and who’s wrong.

By focusing solely on defending yourself, you miss crucial information from your managers, including subtle hints they may be holding back. They might have larger plans they’re not revealing, and the feedback could be a condensed version of their thoughts. If you’re not listening carefully, you’ll miss these important signals. Furthermore, your defensive attitude may discourage managers from providing honest feedback in the future, ultimately putting you at a disadvantage.

Understand their point of view

The first step after receiving negative feedback is to understand the feedback giver’s point of view. Why do they perceive you this way? Where’s the disconnect between their expectations and your output? Try to understand what led to this situation and if others share the same opinion about you. Check if the manager is speaking from their own experience or if they are acting on opinions that were fed to them by your colleagues.

Once you’ve uncovered the reasons behind this negative feedback, it becomes easier to agree or disagree with it based on the facts. This understanding makes it easier to take corrective action. Always try to view feedback as help in disguise rather than a personal attack. Listen intently while receiving feedback, then pause and reflect afterwards.

Make a plan and act on it

When someone forms a negative perception of you, conveyed as feedback, it takes significant effort to change their view. Change won’t happen automatically; you must take deliberate corrective actions. Even if you believe you’re improving, your changes might not be immediately apparent to others. People often don’t notice shifts in behavior or output unless you work proactively to demonstrate them. Remember, it’s challenging to alter firmly established beliefs in people’s minds.

After receiving feedback, create an action plan for improvement. If you’ve listened carefully to your managers, their feedback often reveals specific areas that need attention. When the feedback is fair and valid, acknowledge it and take responsibility. If any points remain unclear, don’t hesitate to ask your manager for clarification—this shows your willingness to learn and improve. This isn’t just the first step towards your improvement plan; it also demonstrates to your manager that you’re taking responsibility and working to address the issues. As a result, they’ll likely become more open and offer additional support.

Ask for guidance and schedule follow-up

After creating an improvement plan, present it to your managers and outline your intended action items. People are generally willing to help and invest in your growth when you demonstrate a positive attitude and eagerness to learn. Ask for their suggestions—they might offer better solutions or guide you in a more effective direction if needed. Don’t hesitate to seek additional clarification.

With their guidance, finalise a plan and schedule regular check-ins to track your progress. During these meetings, seek feedback on whether they’re seeing the desired improvements. Use their ongoing input to refine your approach as necessary.

Growth Mindset

If you view negative feedback as a blessing in disguise that can help you become a better person or leader, you’ll be able to turn things around and advance in your career. Maintain a growth mindset and be grateful for the feedback you receive. Many people never reach their full potential because they’re denied the opportunities that honest, timely feedback creates.

Learning and growing from negative feedback at work ****involves inculcating a growing mindset and a strong belief that efforts and learning can enhance abilities and intelligence. This mindset enables you to see feedback as an avenue to improve rather than a personal attack.

Dealing with unfair or inhumane treatment

Your manager may lack training in handling interpersonal situations, particularly when delivering negative feedback. While you might maintain composure during the meeting, your manager could lose emotional control—shouting, showing hostility, or being disrespectful. Though you may feel tempted to respond in kind, it’s best to remain calm, as matching negative behavior won’t improve the situation. You can endure the meeting briefly, then carefully consider your next steps afterward. Sometimes, the best solution might be changing teams or organizations rather than developing an improvement plan.

Pitfalls to avoid

The below list summarises the pitfalls to avoid when dealing with negative feedback. This can work as a checklist to help you throughout the process.

• Staying calm during conversation is a superpower; do not get angry, agitated, or show strong emotions.
• Do not shift blame to other people, the environment, or the situation; show accountability.
• Do not consider negative feedback as a personal attack but an opportunity to grow.
• Do not hold grudges, but keep a positive attitude always.
• Do not avoid communication or interactions with managers after feedback. Do not cut them off.
• Do not repeat the same behaviour again; show responsibility.